Today was a rare day without any appointments or commitments. I had it all planned out with errands. I planned to pick up the house, exercise, go to the bank, stop by a couple of stores, pick up some bread (we finished off the last loaf at breakfast), run past the mall and buy some shorts for myself for summer that are on sale, come home for nap time for the little one, make dinner, and pick up the kids from school, followed by homework, dinner, and soccer practice.
At 8:15 am after dropping the kids off at school I decided to listen to a new podcast on the Power of Moms website while I cleaned up the breakfast dishes and the little kids played with play dough. The podcast was an interview with author, Katrina Kenison. I have not yet read any of her books, but her words rang true with my heart. She is a mother who's sons have now grown and gone to college. She reflected on motherhood, how quickly it really does fly by, and not being in such a hurry. At one point in the conversation a question was discussed, something like, "Does what your doing right now really need to be done?"
In tears I turned to see two kids playing happily with a doll stroller. I started to cry. I don't want them to grow up. I don't want to run out of two year olds, but it keeps happening. We already have four kids in school all day. Time keeps marching swiftly on and each year it seems to gain speed.
My little one asked me why I was crying and all I could respond with is, "Your growing up too fast."
She said, "And Tanner?"
"Yes," I replied, "Tanner is also growing up too fast."
I decided it has been too long since I have just enjoyed the moments.
The bank can wait. I love to make bread with my kids so I don't need to buy it. As my husband says, "There is always a sale." I decided it really is still to cold to wear the shorts that I was in a hurry to buy today.
My new plan for the day included: pick up the house, exercise, read with Tanner, have preschool with the kids, make bread together (one of my favorite things to do with my kids, they always make their own loaf).
We started some laundry and made lunches. Then we went to school to surprise Abigail and eat lunch with her. I have planned to go eat with Abigail for the last few weeks, but kept pushing it off because I was too busy. I decided that I can't put it off, it won't be long until she'll be too old to want us to come to lunch with her.
Lunch was wonderful. We enjoyed visiting and as I looked around that lunch room I realized that she is getting so much older and life isn't the same as it was in kindergarten.
Motherhood is always about blazing new territory as your oldest child continues to grow and progress.
Even though I love reading books with Abigail, talking, and shopping; at times I miss that carefree little girl who didn't have to worry about homework, friends, or people at school that say bad words. As life progresses the problems get bigger and I realize as a mother I am less able to make everything better.
I am grateful that I took time today to listen. I glad that I took time to enjoy those moments that are easy to miss in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Yes, on another day I will have to go the bank and the store, but sometimes it is ok to take a day to fall on our knees and thank our Heavenly Father for the chance to be a mother.
p.s. take a minute to watch the short video clips by Katrina Kenison here.